10.09
A recent visit with my 5-year-old nephew started me thinking. Jimmy was showing me an art project from school – a painting – and asked, “Guess what it is.” I was stumped, because it actually reminded me of one of those ink blot tests psychologists give. But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I thought my answer over carefully. Finally I ventured, “a horse?” “Close!” he beamed. “What is it?” I asked. To my surprise he answered, “a hammer.”
“What?” I asked. “How is a hammer close to a horse?”
He looked at me in that serious way that only kids can and said, “they both begin with ‘H’,” as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
This cracked me up at the time, but later I thought about it. How astute Jimmy was about how to please others. He looked for the similarity between our answers, when most people would see only the difference.
I’m sure he learned this technique at school. His kindergarten teacher probably learned long ago that kids respond better when you say “close” in response to their wrong answer than “no, you’re wrong kid!” But as we grow up and start careers, we lose that instinct. How often do we look for the “wrong answer” from our co-workers and clients? Probably too often, and that’s a shame because we waste a lot of opportunities to connect, learn and inspire.
Day-to-day tasks like getting approvals, responding to ideas, and editing work are a necessary part of life at an advertising agency or any service business. But, we could get them done so much more effectively if we concentrated on the ways people were right instead of looking for mistakes. And most likely even necessary business objectives like convincing someone to buy your product and marketing campaigns would work better if they were crafted to “connect” with the audience instead of demonstrating superiority.
In personal life and at work, there are times when you need to say “no”, but sometimes “close” is a much better answer.
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About the author:
Chris Henneghan is one of Schubert’s longest-standing employees, starting with the agency in 1987. She now serves as the Social Media & Public Relations and Client Services Director. Chris is a Notre Dame grad and enjoys tennis, golf, hiking, and reading.
Follow Chris on Twitter: @chrishenneghan
Good observation. There is a powerful personal development video series on Public Television that addresses the need of corporate cooperation to achieve maximum results when working with others towards a common goal… the name of the show escapes me but it teaches conflict resolution by finding common ground through active dialogue and empathy… what is the name of that show… I do know it has won several awards and has been a staple in developing social mores, values and ethics for productive citizenry and would probably have a tremendous benefit if it became standard training material on peer relations in the business world. The name of that show… oh yeah… Sesame Street.